Then there is the crazy parent...and I mean crazy.

This week I have finally become the one to challenge a parent with mental illness. He has been diagnosed by an MFT who works for us and has dealt with him. We have been trying to get his son into a classroom and provide services for her for months, but in each IEP he brings a huge amount of confusing information forward and is not sure what he feels she wants. Any questions for clarity bring a defensive attack from him at which point he simply gets up and leaves the room. He then follows this with emails that are accusing the district of all kinds of perverse activities. Apparently, we have been involved in everything from group sex to beatings in the classroom when she was here. We also have been, allegedly, lying, cheating and stealing (OK, so that's not a unique accusation) and sit around discussing just how best to make her life (and of course, his) miserable.

So, setting aside the difficulty of dealing with a parent who is not tethered to the pole, let's talk about the common accusation that we, as special educators, do nothing more then sit around developing new ways to be mean to kids and dishonest to their families. In fact, let me check...YES! My Masters degree states right on it that I have earned the right to be dishonest and to be mean to kids. I remember that day, the one where I earned my degree. There stood our august professor, dressed in her cap and gown, warning us of the dangers of honesty and integrity.

"Go out there and hurt kids," she said, "For it will be much more fun. This work is about cruelty and punishment, and you must uphold the great tradition of lying to families and restricting access to resources. Good luck."

So where does this come from? Part of it is the structure of special education, where we are set against families when there is disagreement over the distribution of resources. Part of it is that we have not served certain students well, either due to an incomplete understanding of their needs or a resistance to accept the reality of what they require. Of course, there are some educators who seem to really dislike kids. That I don't get.

Now I need to figure out how to work with this parent who is not only mentally ill but wants us to provide some bizarre program that no one understands. Well, I think I'll just take President Bush's advice; when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping. Buy for now!